Saturday, June 13, 2009


Cooter Slam-verb- A jump into a split that is so fierce that your cooter actually bitch-slaps the floor. Better done in LaDucas.
1. Sondheim Actress: This choreographer is dumb if he thinks I'm going to pirouette into a cooter slam.
Dancer: That was a fiercy-fierce cooter slam. She better work!

Chewing the Scenery-verb- Chewing the scenery is possibly the worst offense committed by any actor. This involves severely overacting, unfounded character choices and over-the-top line readings. Imagine a community theatre Nathan Lane. Chewing the Scenery can also be called: schmacting, hamming it up, and being a dumbass.
If Richard chews the scenery even more he will start pooping plywood.

Character Actor-
noun- MT men who are too tall, short, fat, or bald to be considered leading men or mangenue. However, unlike character actresses there are a number of precious leading roles available to character actors such as The Chairman in Drood, Pseudolos in ...Forum, Thernardier in Les Mis, Hermann Preysing in Grand Hotel, Barfee in Spelling Bee, Parchester in Me and My Girl, and Nicely Nicely Johnson in Guys and Dolls.
1. I'm so happy I'm a Character Actor, I can eat as many poptarts as I want.
2. Harry: I'm not going to ham it up tonight. I'm over that.
Jordan: You're such a smart character actor.

Cry Face
-verb- When an MT's voice begins to let up and they resort to tight-faced tactics to compensate for their lack of vocal production. It is to make the audience think that your vocal recklessness is an acting choice.
1. Ooh, did you see her transition into cry face? I wish she had just power mixed it. Receipt, please.
2. Cry face doesn't fool me, I know a tinfoil mix when I hear one.
3. She can't belt and bleed during her 11 O'Clock Number so she's trying to give cry face. She's selling it.

- noun- A place where call sheet and cast announcements are posted by
the Stage Manager. Recently, a place to post fierce pictures or anonymous notes to
other cast members.
"Hilda, there's a message on the callboard saying that someone's holding your
LaDucas hostage."

Contrasting Mono-noun-Abbreviation: Contrasting monologue. The hellish
process of choosing a second monologue for an audition that shows comedy or
"I have the hardest time finding contrasting monos and the perfect 16-bar cut."

Character Actress-noun- Talented women often who are often too fat, short, or quirky
to be considered ingenues. Due to their physical shortcomings, character actresses
often exhibit great acting tactics and multi-octave belting skills. Sadly, a character
actress will almost never fall in love onstage because, as we all know, only pretty
people have dreams and genitalia.
"I'm fine with being considered a character actress. No, really, I am. Honestly."

Company Call-saying- When the stage manager yells to the cast to let them know how
many minutes they have until the show's commencement. 2. a way to quiet a room full
of actors in any setting.
I can't believe Marty said "Company Call" when we were at the Death Cab concert just
to shut us up! That was so embarrassing."

Cattle Call-noun- An audition in which any person with a headshot or resume is
encouraged to come. These are usually for shows in which the deisred talent is
unrepresented (shows with teenagers or Black people.) Little comes from cattle calls
except for deceptively hopeful callbacks and the realization that everyone in America
thinks that they are a star.
"I can't believe people go to cattle calls. If my agent doesn't send me in, I'm not

Cast Party- noun- A place where people without showmances make up for lost time.
2. a drunken mess.
"I hope all the old people don't come to the cast party."

Callback-noun- The cause of much stress. An opportunity to perform material from the
show, but with no direction and minimal preparation. No one asks doctors to come
back and perform part of an operation and then NOT hire them.
If I go to another callback and don't book a job, I'm moving to tv/film.

Chorine-noun- Not to be confused with chlorine, a chorine is a pretty young woman in
a Broadway chorus.
Jillian: But I'm a serious actress!
Old Broad: With those legs and those tactics, you have chorine written all over you.

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